HEREDITY

The school of psychology generally accepts the belief that we are born with a “clean slate,” born pure. Then our parents (caregivers), siblings, and other environmental influences cause us harm. I believe this concept is an over-simplification and that we are not born with a “clean slate.” The school of family systems therapy contributes to the understanding of this concept.

“It is assumed [by intergenerational and transgenerational family systems theory] that relational patterns are learned and passed down across the generations and that current individual and family behavior is a result of these patterns. Thus, accurate assessment of relational patterns, both functional and dysfunctional, not only is the first step in understanding families from an intergenerational perspective, but also is an essential step for proper treatment.” “Contemporary perspectives on intergenerational family therapy suggest that difficulties and dysfunctions in relationships across generations are frequently replicated in subsequent intergenerational relationships, thereby adding to the complexity and potential trauma for members of those family systems.”

I suggest that we are born with two natures. One is our original nature, our God-given authentic self, full of purity, goodness, spirituality, and creativity. We are also born with an inherited nature, consisting of the victories and failures of our ancestors, our people, and our nation. The unpleasant side of this inherited nature may consist of unresolved issues, such as prejudice, addictions, mental disorders, theft, various forms of abuse, hatred of men or women, and sexual problems. It says in the Old Testament, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children, to the third and fourth generation.” Other religions call it karma—what goes around comes around.

What is now being described as genetic predispositioning may also be interpreted as transgenerational “sin” or the multigenerational transmission of unresolved family issues. These manifest themselves within the genetic structure of the lineage. “We are born with splits—from ancestors, in our genes—not all from our parents.”

Dr. Bernard Nathanson illuminates the power and mystery of the gene. The United States government has sponsored a $5 billion program known as the Human Genome Project. Its purpose is to identify the structure and location of all the genes in our body. Theoretically, by next year, a small sample of blood will be able to determine if someone will get cancer or diabetes, how intelligent he will be, and if he is susceptible to violent crimes or alcoholism, and so on. “Genes are not destiny unaltered and unadulterated. We can have the gene for alcoholism but may never become a drinker, because we can control it. To some extent, you have control of your body. But there is this predilection. The gene gives you the predilection to alcoholism or violent crimes or whatever the behavioral gene happens to be.”

I therefore believe that we are not born pure. We are born with mental filters or predilections, which may impact how we view and respond to any given situation. Mental filters/predilections are like looking at life through tinted glasses. We see things from a particular perspective, not necessarily how they are. A mental filter may cause us to misinterpret someone’s actions or words. “The concept of filtering or forming a ‘cognitive set’ is closely related to what is called a ‘learning set’ or a ‘cognitive map.’ It is a rule by which a person interprets learning tasks or stimuli from the environment.” Bert Hellinger, founder of Systemic Family Therapy in Germany, teaches that we accumulate feelings from family members known and unknown, i.e., grandparents, great-grandparents, divorced mates, and lovers. These feelings and issues are present in the family system and influence all its members.

How this bears on the development of a Same-Sex Attachment Disorder (SSAD) may be unique to each individual depending upon the issues in the family system. At the core of a SSAD condition is a sense of not belonging, not fitting in, and feeling rejected. These feelings and thoughts may already be an inheritable characteristic of the child. Therefore, he is born with a predisposition for rejection. He has a propensity to misinterpret his parents’ and others’ behaviors and words. It is not the event that shapes him, it is his response to the event. Perception becomes reality. This inheritable characteristic may contribute to feelings of rejection and being different, which is at the heart of the Same-Sex Attachment Disorder.

Jed grew up in a middle-class family. His father was a pillar of the community. They attended church religiously. Jed’s father was very critical and demanding, as his father before him was. Jed always felt insecure and inadequate around his dad, never being able to measure up to his expectations. At a very early age, Jed emotionally detached from his father and aligned himself with his mother. I believe Jed was born with a predisposition for rejection and detachment. Having hailed from a lineage that endured massive persecution, Jed easily experienced a feeling of not fitting in, not measuring up, and being different.

Albert was born into a high-stress family system. His dad was an executive of a large corporation. He would bring home the burdens and worries of his work and constantly complain about life. Albert’s mom was very unhappy in her relationship with her husband. She would hold her son and share her pain and sorrow with him. Albert internally detached from both his mom and dad as an infant. He felt unaccepted, like an outsider. He was sure he had been adopted, no matter how many times his parents protested that he was their child. Albert hailed from a lineage that had also experienced intense social rejection and discrimination for many generations. He had a predisposition for experiencing ridicule and rejection, which he then projected onto his parents and eventually his siblings and peers.