Summary

These ten influences—heredity, temperament, hetero-emotional wounds, homo-emotional wounds, sibling wounds/family dynamics, body-image wounds, sexual abuse, social or peer wounds, cultural wounds, and other factors: divorce/death/intrauterine experiences/adoption/religion—represent major factors that contribute to the creation of same-sex attractions in men and women. By addressing each one of these issues, by uncovering their meaning and impact, the individual may heal and fully recover the ability to experience his own gender identity and a sense of self-worth.

A final observation I have made in working with clients over the past years is this: The greater the detachment from feelings, thoughts, and needs in the present, and the greater the detachment from the unresolved wounds and unmet needs of the past, the greater or more intense the desire will be for same-sex relations.

The more a person is unaware of his thoughts, feelings, and needs in present relationships, the stronger the need and energy attachment will be to engage in or fantasize same-sex behavior. Sex then becomes a way back to the body and soul, either through masturbation (self-sex) or sex with another person. He is trying to obtain his lost self or disassociated parts. Therefore, seeking sex or compulsive masturbation represents a reparative drive to restore the broken self. The frustration is that this never works!