SEXUAL ABUSE

Sexual abuse is another powerful contributing factor in the development of same-sex attraction and homosexual behavior. Although many people who have been sexually molested or abused may not become homosexual, a large percentage of those who are homosexual have been sexually violated either by someone of the same sex or opposite sex.

In a study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2001) researchers found that 46% of homosexuals and 22% of lesbians reported being homosexually molested as children/adolescents with the mean age of 11 for boys and 13 years of age for girls. This is compared to much lower rates of homosexual molestation among heterosexuals: only 7% for heterosexual men and 1% for heterosexual women.

This is not to be confused with the percentage of lesbian women who have been molested by heterosexual men. Statistics for sexual abuse among the general female population in the U.S. are 17% to 25%, but for lesbian women they are much higher— with one survey reporting up to 66%.

Dr. Stanton Jones, author of The Use of Scientific Research in the Church’s Moral Debate, states that “experience of sexual abuse as a child…more than tripled the likelihood of later reporting homosexual orientation.”

For men, sexual molestation can be emotionally and physically traumatic and further solidify a boy’s homosexual identity. Some men who were seduced and molested during adolescence by an older man reported to have enjoyed it, but what they are really revealing is that they were in such need for male attention and connection that, though the sexual encounter was a violation, it superficially met his need to connect on an intimate level with another man. However, along with this superficial bonding comes a deep distrust of and resentment against men in general.

For women who have been violated by men, they, too, come to distrust and resent men. In addition, some women who have been sexually violated will reject (often unconsciously) their femininity because they see it as a liability. In the mind of a girl who has been abused (sexually, physically or verbally), she sees her femininity as weakness and the very thing that provoked the abuse, and so she rejects this aspect of herself and takes on a hard, “no one will push me around” false masculinity, which serves to protect her from further hurt.

A woman can also fall more easily into lesbian relationships when there has been abuse in her history. Anita Worthen and Bob Davies, ministry leaders to those who struggle with same sex attraction, state: In women, abuse can lead to a deep fear and even hatred of men (if the perpetrator is a male). Men are no longer “safe.” The woman’s deep need to connect with another individual leads her right into close relationships with other women, often women who have been wounded in similar ways. This sets the stage for lesbian bonding to occur.

It is not surprising, then, to hear of famous gay men and women, men such as Rock Hudson and Greg Louganis and female celebrities such as Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O’Donnell describe their own abuse. What is surprising is that their abuse is never considered (by themselves and the secular media) to be a factor which may have contributed to their homosexuality.

Jesus made a powerful statement about the abuse of children in Matthew 18:5-9. He called a little child and had the child stand among the disciples. Jesus said, “Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned into the depths of the sea.” Jesus continued: Woe to the world because of the things which cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands and two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

For those who have been sexually abused, knowing that God hates this abuse and will avenge it is a huge part of the healing process. Many people who have been abused cannot get past the fact that God allowed abuse to happen to them when he could have stopped it. Many victims of abuse when they were children prayed for God to rescue them, and yet the abuse continued.

People need to know that God is a just God and that what happened to them will be punished. Either the perpetrator will be punished (whether in this life or in the next) or he will confess and repent of his sin and allow Jesus to take his punishment. The choice is his. Likewise, forgiving our perpetrators is a choice many victims of abuse must make in order to find healing.

When we allow Jesus to atone for sin, we are free to forgive. Forgiveness is impossible without the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ because without his sacrifice there is no justice. Justice requires a payment for sin, and the payment for all sin comes through Jesus Christ. By forgiving our perpetrator we are not saying, “What you did to me was okay.” Instead, we are saying, “Because Jesus forgave me of my sins, I can forgive you for the sin you committed against me.” Forgiveness frees the victim from her perpetrator and relinquishes her from having to seek revenge, for “‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay’ saith the Lord” (Rom. 12:19).